Ella and Zoe'isms

I have been jotting down what I think are funny, sweet, interesting,and/or odd comments that Ella and Zoe have said over the past couple of months. When they're not driving me nuts with their not-so-attractive-three-year-old behavior they can really make me laugh. *I have no idea why this first paragraph is double-spaced, it's driving me crazy but I can't seem to fix it*

~ 'We used to be babies but now we are growing into women'. (Zoe)

~ 'It's okay Mom, when I'm frustrated I still love you.' -- after I told her I was getting frustrated with her. (Ella)

~ 'Sometimes I cry tears of joy.' -- after having a major meltdown. (Ella)

~ 'I learned my lesson but Ella did not'. (Zoe)

~ On the way to the thrift store to drop off clothes that didn't fit them anymore, I explained what we were doing and why. I realized I didn't explain the concept as well as I thought when Ella cried out, ' but I still wear clothes!!'.

~ Zoe told me she wanted me to have two boy babies so she could have twin brothers -- and that she would name them 'turd' and 'poopy pants'.

~ A check-out lady at our neighborhood Walgreens has one hand that is partially formed. The first time the girls noticed it both of their eyes got very big and they each gave me 'the look', but both were polite and didn't say anything until we got to our car (I think they remembered our big talk after Ella kept commenting rather loudly on how crabby the old man looked in the waiting room at my doctor's office). They had a lot of questions about why the lady's hand was that way, and I felt we had a good talk about it as well as a nice discussion about similarities and differences in general. Our next stop was the drive-thru at Taco Bell (LOVE that place). When I pulled up to the window and handed the cashier my money, Ella got very excited and yelled out 'Hey, that lady has TWO hands!'.

~ The night before Ella had her surgery we were talking about what would happen throughout that day Ella kept telling me that she didn't have to go to the hospital because she wasn't sick (poor thing), and when I reminded Zoe that she would stay home with Grama her response was 'but I want to go with with and hold Ella's hand.'.

~ We were running errands and I told the girls I had to stop at the gas station. Zoe said 'Gas comes out of our bums too. Sometime we put it in the toilet.'.

~ Right before bed one night the girls were goofing around on the sofa and Ella fell off landing hard, head first, on the hardwood floor. The on-call nurse recommended waking her a few times overnight just to be safe. During her middle of the night wake-up she was really sleepy, so I asked her a few questions:

ME: What's your name?

ELLA: Ella

ME: How old are you?

ELLA: 3

ME: Who is the president of the United States?

ELLA: OhMama! : )

~ Zoe and Ella were having a discussion about different boys and girls they know. Then Zoe said 'We're the girls and Dad's the boy. He has a penis, but we don't want to see it. We just want to talk about it.'. I feel for their future boyfriends . . . .

~ Ella had been bouncing off the walls. I jokingly asked if she had ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). She said 'No Mom, it's ABCD.'.

Conversation while eating breakfast:

Zoe: 'I will have a big nose when I grow up.' (looks at me and smiles)

Ella: 'I will grow hair on my bum.' (looks at me and smiles)

Zoe: 'I will be a mommy and eat spicy foods'. (looks at me and smiles -- I find this to be very funny because when I don't want to share my food with them I tell them it's too spicy).

Ella: 'I will wear my sweatshirt, I want to look like you Mama.' (looks at me and smiles)

~ Ella and Zoe were talking about what part of their body poop comes out of and Zoe asked 'what comes out of my vag?' -- just like that. I told her it's a special part of her body that makes her a girl, it's like a tunnel that goes into her uterus (where babies grow), and that only women can grow babies. I felt great about my explanation and they totally lost interest. Ha : )

I have no idea what they were talking about but I overheard Zoe telling Ella, 'No Ella, sometimes Dad DOES get to make his own decisions.'

Zoe asked me how babies get in a mommy's tummy. I told her it happens when a mommy and daddy love each other very much and want to have a family (I know . . . but her question kind of threw me and I wanted to keep it simple). Ella replied with 'Ohhhh, that's nice.'.

Zoe told me she likes her teacher, that she's really nice but not that funny.

At pick-up from preschool we saw a mom with a newborn. Ella said 'Oh look at that baby, she's just a little penis.'. Then she paused, looked at me, gave me the look and said 'I mean PEANUT!'.

When I was watching Oprah interview Sarah Palin, Zoe kept asking me when they (Oprah and Palin) were going to sing.

When it was time for the girls to get their seasonal flu shot I prepped them on the drive to the doctor's office as to what to expect, and both were excited and eager to get their shots. When we entered the clinic Ella announced 'We're here to get our flu shots!'. Both girls wanted to go first, neither cried but neither liked it either.

A week later Zoe got sick and on the way to the clinic she said 'But I don't want to get a flu shot!'. She also told the doctor the same thing when she was told she had a double ear infection.

When it was time to go in for their first of two H1N1 shots they were NOT happy, at all. They cried before we left the house, they cried on the car ride, they cried when they saw the receptionist and they cried when the nurse called their names. When the nurse asked who was going to go first, Ella quickly answered 'Zoe is'. I told Ella she could be the helper and hold Zoe's hand. After Zoe's shot Ella cried even louder than Zoe (who was sobbing at this point) and said she still wanted to 'just be the helper'. She also got her shot.

Before ballet class I told the girls if I pointed to my eyes and then to their teacher that meant they needed to watch their teacher. If I pointed to my ears that meant they needed to listen to their teacher and if I gave them two thumbs up that meant they were doing a good job. Ella said if she pointed to her nose I was doing a VERY good job!

One night Zoe asked me if teachers sleep in beds.

A firefighter visited Ella and Zoe's preschool. Zoe told him how to 'Top dwop and woll' and Ella told him the fire alarm goes off at our house when I'm cooking and that I just 'shoo it' with a towel.

Before we left for the circus Zoe told me she would show the clowns her band aide. Ella realized she didn't have a band aide and said she would show the clowns her skin.

Out of the blue Ella told me, 'Sometimes I am grim'.

When I was the guest reader in Ella and Zoe's preschool class Ella tooted during the middle of the story. She looked up at me and said 'well -- hello there'. Later in the story she told me I was a 'good book reader', like she'd never heard me read out loud before.

Ella was going through a stage where she would get upset rather easily so I read Nancy Carlson's book 'Think Happy' to the girls, which is a really sweet and positive story. There were two pages about a bully and how you can always find someone to help you if you need help. Out of all the examples in the story Ella LOVED that part, she kept asking to see those pages and then declared 'I am a bully'.

In preschool the kids were asked how to make a turkey. Zoe said you have to take off the feathers, put it in the oven and cook it. Ella said you pull out the feathers, take off the head, cook it and eat it.

After watching 'The Grinch' together, and explaining A LOT throughout the show, Ella said 'I am a grinch'.

Both Zoe and Ella love to play with their nativity scene figurines. Ella asked me if she could name her Baby Jesus 'Baby Horny' instead.

When I told the girls the weatherman was saying we were going to get a lot of snow, Ella told me the weatherman also said we have to make a snowman.

I had just finished reading 'Charlotte's Web' to Ella and Zoe when we found out a dear family friend, 'Grandma' Lorraine had died. After I told the girls Ella said 'now she is with Charlotte', and Zoe added 'she is in our hearts too.'.

On our way to speech class Ella told me she didn't want to be Zoe's 'support team' anymore, that she wanted her own speech class. Zoe told her 'no Ella, it is my peech cwass'.

After speech class I maintained my sense of maturity when the teacher told me we needed to work on the 'k' sound with Zoe, because 'titty' is not the same word as 'kitty'. I know that has nothing to do with the girls, but it seriously cracked me up that she had to use that as her example.

We have seen the same pediatrician since Ella and Zoe were first born. On the way to the doctor's office they both insisted that 'she' was a 'he'. I still don't think they believe me.

Zoe told Tom, 'Grampa doesn't hear on the phone very well, he has very old ears.'.